AOL had an interesting article today on “Why Men Ignore Their Wives.” It could just as easily be called “Why Women Ignore Their Husbands.” According to the article, people have “Reactance — the inclination to do the exact opposite of what’s asked of them by a boss or loved one — simply because they are trying to resist someone else’s encroachment on their freedom.” It has long been accepted as common behavior by psychologists.
“My husband, while very charming in many ways, has an annoying tendency of doing exactly the opposite of what I would like him to do in many situations,” one woman said. (Of course, this applies to real life, not online behavior, where lovely fantasies reside!)
The most recent study shows that the resistance happens subconsciously. “Reactance to others is so automatic that you can’t possibly be expected to control it — if you don’t even know it’s happening.”
Might this be the answer to why men sometimes refuse to be loving and romantic, when they know it’s what their women crave? Or why women sometimes frustrate their men by withholding sex? Or why you can’t get good service from some “clerk jerks,” no matter how patiently you try? It’s not personal — it’s “reactance”!