The Bulwer-Lytton Contest

On a light note: I was surfing the Web today and came across one of my favorite sites, the Bulwer-Lytton Contest, “where WWW means Wretched Writers Welcome.” As most of you will know, this contest was named for Edward Bulwer-Lytton (pictured above) who once began a book this way:

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

–Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)

This site always makes me laugh until I cry–literally. I don’t know how many times I’ve wiped away tears of laughter while reading the prize-winning sentences of bad writing.

My all-time favorite is:

The notes blatted skyward as the sun rose over the Canada geese, feathered rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically peddling unseen bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by Nature’s maxim, “Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,” and at last I knew Pittsburgh.

–Sheila B. Richter, Minneapolis, Minnesota (1987 Winner) 

Just click on “Bulwer-Lytton Contest” in my list of Favorite Sites at the left. You’ll find a “Lyttony of Grand Prize Winners.” I guarantee you’ll have a good time.

The Theme

  At our Nebraska Romance Writers conference, Stephanie Bond finally answered a long-standing question I’ve had about writing romance novels. I’ve asked this question of authors, at conferences, everywhere I could–but nobody answered until Stephanie Bond.

The question: Jane Ann Krentz wrote articles about familiar romance novel plots, such as secret baby, marriage of convenience, stranded in a snowstorm, amnesia, twins, etc. Readers are familiar with these and look for them. Editors are also aware of them, and can immediately tell what your book is about when you mention one. But I’ve always wondered how to use these in plotting a romance novel. What are they? Do I use them as the Internal Conflict, the External Conflict, or what?

Stephanie’s answer: They are the “Theme” of the book. Often, they have the External Conflict plot points built right in. For example, the Black Moment in a secret baby book comes when the heroine has to tell the hero that her baby is actually his. He, of course, gets angry that she never told him, and the whole relationship is in jeopardy.

These themes are not the Internal Conflicts. Those are particular to each individual character. That is where characterization comes in.

So, the way to plot a romance novel is made considerably easier. If you want to write a “secret baby” book, you already have many of your plot points and External Conflicts built in. To write a character-driven book, you ask “What kind of characters would get themselves into this situation? What are their individual Internal Conflicts that led them to this impasse?” That’s what makes each secret baby book different and deep–the characters whose story you’re telling!

I believe Stephanie finally answered my question. Thank you, Stephanie!
 

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope you all have a great day and good kick-off to the holiday season.  Contemplate everything we have to be thankful for, and I’m sure you will!

I plan to cook a feast (Dh gets a free turkey from work), get out my Christmas decorations, and watch a movie or two. Mostly just relax with a four-day weekend off from work.

Happy Thanksgiving!